Being on my own since I left home at the age of 16 meant that I have been so-called “independent” for the last… *counting-with-fingers*…16 years! Yikes! Didn’t realize I was THAT old. Lol
Sure, the word “independent” can mean a host of different things in various different context (trust the English-language pros to overcomplicate things), but basically being independent in my case and probably yours too, would simply mean that we’ve been on our own, i.e. accountable to ourselves, and nobody else. Obviously, when I started my first full-time job at the age of 19, for the hours I was at work, I was accountable to my boss. You get the idea.
While independence for most would mean having to work and fend for themselves, carry their financial burdens alone and re-building their lives, careers and personal creditability from scratch, some may think the idea of independence as being in a state of total liberation; having the freedom to do what they want to do, whenever the want, however they want.
True on both ends, independence can either be a good or dangerous thing. I’ve known a lot of people who spun their rather unfortunate state of independence into success stories that deserve nothing less than the highest of respect. I’ve also known some who turned their lives completely upside down, for the worse.
The difference, which I eventually learned, was the word
Discipline.
How I spent my time and the little resources I had, and whether it would be towards instant gratification or for the better of my future, boiled down to how disciplined I was with the decisions I had to make. Not easy. I’m sure you can relate to that.
So for the past 16 years, and through the many mistakes I made over that period of time, I’ve learnt to grasp the concept and importance of this scary word – discipline – which I try very hard to apply to my business, my priorities and my daily habits/routines. Still a lot to learn and a long way to go, but if I may add, it gets easier with time so hang in there!
I must say though, that the transition from “independence” to marriage can be quite an eye-opener. *laugh* Sometimes I think it’s God’s funny way of saying,
“Okay Hannah, after 16 years I think you’ve finally learnt your lesson on discipline. You’re not as fast a learner as some of my other children but I think you’re finally ready for your next lesson – compromise.”
#alamak.
Okay, if you think the concept of compromise is something you can grasp instantly and easily, go talk to the Supermums who have been married with kids for at least a decade. In fact, talk to any married woman with kids and a husband. And you wonder why so much more commercial emphasis is placed on Mother’s Day as compared to Father’s Day. Believe you me, it’s no coincidence.
Now that I’ve joined the Marriage club, I have so much more respect for my mum and all the mothers around me. First step of learning the art of compromise – God gives you a husband. Then depending on how fast you can learn, He gives you the kids for a new level of learning. Cool. I suppose I will learn to accept that eventually. Lol
So now that I’ve answered your question on “How’s Married Life?”…
…please don’t ask what I gather would be the next progression of questions to follow. Lol. The answer is: "Not so soon". Lol
Compromise.
From having the liberty to make decisions on my own to now, having to obtain consent from my husband on almost all of my decisions is a BIG adjustment. Then we talk about sharing a living space with someone who possesses a totally different set of living, eating, sleeping and cleaning habits as you do. Fun, right? Lol
Don’t get me wrong, being married to the love of my life is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. But the initial adjustment to one another’s living habits and SOPs makes it so much more interesting. I’m sure #babybaby will concur. Haha.
One of the prominent lessons on comprise for us came in the form of sleeping habits, the other, in the form of eating habits.
Sleeping habits.
Picture from http://kchanews.com
To cut the long story short, we’ve finally agreed on our regular bed times, with #babybaby being so gracious as to give me a head-start to fall asleep BEFORE he commences his symphony of snores.
See? Compromise. *cheeky-laugh* Oh I love my husband.
Then on my end, with our eating habits being rather different from each other (where do I start?!), I’m learning to adapt my cooking/food preparations to suit his taste-buds.
Looooooooong way to go with that, but just to give you a better idea:
So how do you compromise on that? We're a total opposite of each other in terms of eating habits and preferences. Meantime, while I think my husband is praying hard that I will grow to love chicken breast meat as much as he does, amongst other things, we managed to pull this off...
Still working on expanding my cooking repertoire so if you have any ideas on more #Babybaby-friendly food, please share! Haha.
Next week, I’ll share my travel bucket list with you, and maybe you can give us some input on honeymoon destination ideas. *clap-clap* Exciting, exciting! Hehe. Oh wait, but my list may be different from #Babybaby's. *look-up*
Yes, God...got the hint.
<Learning in progress> Compromise. I get it. Lol